Doctor's Orders

How I Skipped Two Years of Appointments -- and Why You Shouldn't

For the past two years, I basically stopped taking care of myself. No gym. No doctors. No life! It seems ridiculous given the glacially slow pace of publishing that I was too busy doing time-sensitive things launching Zibby Books to make a doctor’s appointment. Most of the books I was working on then still haven’t even come out yet.

But every day the urgency of all of it reasserted itself. My internal motor would rev up as soon as my feet hit the carpet. By the time my coffee mug was empty again, I’d be racing at super speed. Doing emails. Writing. Meeting. Zooming. Always on a futile quest to keep my inbox down to 50 or fewer emails and, wait, also being a “perfect” (haha) mom to my four kids.

For 11 years, I “stayed home” with them. I don’t regret it but yes, those days were long. As I ventured out of the dark of nap-time and back into the blinding light of the work force, I realized that all that pent-up energy was still there — and overflowing. It was like a door being flattened by a swoosh of water. (Go with me here on these metaphors; it’s 12:30 am.)

I was ready to make up for lost time and to revert back to who I was, say, in school — studying late into the night, reading every page of every homework, finishing essays early. My (swollen) foot was on the gas pedal. Go, go, go!

So I did. I went. I went until I couldn’t go anymore and my body was screaming out for me to notice. The fingers on my left hand were numb and tingling and my left Achilles was so swollen that I played tennis barefoot before I conceded defeat. Fine. I’d consult someone.

One thing led to another. Every doctor’s visit had me checking out with three referrals in hand. I felt like I couldn’t make any actual progress. One doctor reminded me that I’d forgotten to see him for nine years. Point taken.

Here are the doctors I’ve seen in the past month or have coming up:

• Ob/gyn

• Cardiologist

• Dentist — twice

• Endocrinologist

• Hematologist

• Dermatologist

• Allergist

• Podiatrist

• Internist

• Dermatologist

• Orthopedist

• Gastroenterologist

• Neurologist

Here are the procedures in my calendar:

• Mammogram

• Bone density scan

• CT cardiac calcium score

• Endoscopy

• Colonoscopy

Thank God for health care. Not that it was all covered, but still.

Getting older isn’t always fun but it’s particularly tough when you take years off from regular maintenance. I didn’t listen to the aches and pains and other messages my body was screaming my way. I didn’t do what I knew I was supposed to do. I would take my kids from appointment to appointment all over town but then… nothing for me.

The doctors have been finding stuff — nothing major at all but a couple things that require medication. Some to keep an eye on. Others, not a concern. The low point was when I had to fill a cavity that was the result of “tooth decay,” like I was a sailor on a ship with no access to clean water. As the grating, loud sound of the drill shaved away the outside of my molar, I had tears sliding down my face and all I kept thinking was, “I did this to myself. I did this.”

Not anymore.

I hope to be around for a while. I have too many other things to start to be sick. But I can’t do any of them if I’m not here.

To those of who who haven’t been to the doctor lately and think, “I’m fine, really,” just go. Take a personal day and book 6-8 appointments back to back or go at 8 am like I’ve been doing. Prevention is a lot less effort than fixing everything later.

My meds regimen in the morning is like what I used to have to give my bulldog every day. Insanity.

I’m doing what it takes. The question is: are you?